dad’s day is this weekend and consequently my sister and i are headed to dallas to lunch with the family. i have henceforth scripted an actual conversation between my father and me circa 1984, both in honor of this day and for your entertainment (or mine).
me: dad, mary has more baby pictures than me.
dad: oh well i think around the time you were born, our camera had broken.
me: oh. well am i adopted?
dad: where would you get an idea like that?
me: mary told me that i am adopted.
dad: oh she did, did she?
me: yes. she said a policeman left me on the doorstep and that you and mom don’t really love me.
dad: oh no, a policeman didn’t leave you on the doorstep.
dad: yeah, it was a fireman.