doctors. ugh.

i just need to vent, plastic cupcake followers.

over a year ago i swore off western medicine and decided to take a more holistic approach to my health through traditional chinese medicine and acupuncture. my first visit, just by checking out my fingernails and tongue, dr. z. was able to tell me so many incredible things.

redness in the nose and face? oh, you must have some stagnant energy in your stomach. this is caused by an imbalance in your spleen and kidney. western doctors sometimes diagnose this as rosacia and try to treat it as a skin problem. you’ve probably been experiencing heatburn or digetstive problems from this. you have? and let me see…yes, you have cold hands and feet. this is a sign of bad kidney function. don’t eat any more ice cream. hmm. your body can not digest lactose so you should not eat dairy. dairy is bad for you. also, the bend in your ring finger’s fingernail confirms these things. let’s work on your spleen today and open up that energy so you will feel better.

right. on.

and that was just in the first five minutes. and i did feel better. especially about week 3 of going dairy free.

which brings me to today. i had to go to a “western” doctor to get some blood work done for my thyroid even though dr. z. says it is okay. i believe him. this is just…sort of a second opinion, if you will. so after the whole rigmarole of actually finding someone who would embrace both a naturalistic approach and western medicine, i made an appointment.

the paperwork was pretty painless and i was led back to an exam room. after waiting for a total of forty-five minutes, the doctor finally came into see me.

oh, i’m sorry. i kept telling them there was no one in exam room 2. i was halfway out the door for lunch. sorry to keep you waiting.

um, why would you tell me that?

for the next 2 minutes she proceeded to type things on the computer as i recited my entire medical history and my mom’s condition, etc. no eye contact. sooooo awkward.

she listened to me breath and looked in my throat.

you seem very healthy. you have a mild fever, probably from the food posioning so come back on friday and we will run some tests.

(oh yes, i forgot to mention that i was hit with a bad case of eating undercooked fish last week. i’m still recovering.)

hmm. well. okay.

next time you come in, remind me what we talked about and we will talk through more things.

huh. we didn’t talk much. but whatever you say, doc.

i just hate this. it’s a co-pay ever time i walk in her front door and absoltuley no conversation.

oh well. i’m done venting now blogging world. i guess if anything, i’d like to plug my awesome acupuncturist…he is the best. he and his son both spend time working with me each visit, and i’ve even had the opportunity to take a health and wellness class with him. AND, they always make me a cup of hot tea.

thanks for listening (err reading?).

7 thoughts on “doctors. ugh.

  1. kyle says:

    you ever see that seinfeld where george visits the holistic doctor? doctor: “you shouldn’t be taking hot showers.” george: “no hot water?” kramer: “i’m off hot water.”

    i’m sure they’re great and i’m sure they help, but let’s be honest… how much of that is probably just psychosomatic, mind over matter? the “wait a second, i DO feel better!” kind of thing. not bashing eastern medicine; because Lord knows i’m not particularly enamored with western medicine…

    my conclusion: i have no idea… :-)

  2. shari says:

    thyroid? mine is underactive…i hate going to the doctor, too, but if it is recommended that you need medicine from your blood work, then i would do it. it made me feel much better…and it could be mind over matter…who knows.

  3. plastic cupcake says:

    kyle–could be. but it’s been amazing how he can tell me things about myself that i’ve never told him. one time from something on my ear, near my ear…he was like ‘you have a heart murmur’…WEIRD. haha. and YES that seinfeld episode is HILARIOUS!! :)

    shari–yes i was on meds for hypothyroid when i was on 14 for about a year. i think that’s what’s up. i have read a lot that the blood test is often inconclusive, so we shall see…

  4. Sarah says:

    oh I feel your pain. why must drs be so silly? I seriously dread going to the western drs as well, especially if they look too western (chaps, belt buckle, boots, etc).

  5. Michael Trook says:

    Muffin Shoes- Sorry about the bad doc business, least they didn’t cut you open while you were awake and then leave some gauze in you after they stitched you up.. heard that happens to people. You should check out the quack shack at Tech. The doctors there are real conversational. They ask you whats wrong, then you get to diagnose yourself, and then they ask you what medicine you would like. Boom, they just give it to you like that.. its a great deal for the self diagnosing, self prescrbing type. Have a great day fancy!

  6. plastic cupcake says:

    dude, ben. i think you will be a fabulous doc, because you actually CARE about people’s hearts (bahaha i mean you know not just physically). you’re going to be famous because great doc’s are few and far between.

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