me: do you still have a headache?
dan: yes :(
me: how about i hit you in the foot with a hammer so you focus on that instead? i feel this is a hood plan. and also a good plan. also–it will really take your mind off your headache…
dan: emily…honesty in 2010. your plan sucks.
me: ok ok. maybe you’re right. well plan b involves a vile of holy water i keep at my desk…
dan: …and doing what with it? i feel with the average person i could assume correctly, but with you dear emily, i fear my assumptions could be grossly wrong.
me: we just need some duct tape, a bucket of ice and a nine iron.
dan: apparently i was correct in my previous logic.
me: you are wise beyond your years.
dan: must be why i have this headache.
me: clearly there’s a demon inside your head and we must excersize it.
dan: can’t there be a plan c that involves more love, less pain?
me: i don’t understand…
me: …ok how about you eat some chocolate?
dan: that i can work with.