i’m sorry. this is only funny to about four people.

i couldn’t help it. i LOVE talking to my kosovar friends on g-chat…that’s about the only way we keep in touch.

meki: hey corn how are you?
ok just want to say hi to you
me: hi corn, hahahaa, how are you?
meki: I will go eat dinner pak, tung, talk you later Katastroffff
goood
me: :)
meki: mire jam, po ti?
me: mire, falamenderit
meki: waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, bravo, good job
me: thank you, faliminderit
meki: hey tung
tak to you
bye
me: tung

if you REALLY want to know, watch this awesome video.

Four.

The hospitals in Kosovo are very different, like nothing you would ever experience in the US. Throughout our stay, and through some children’s groups we held with kids from neighboring villages, we made friends with Doctor S. Although he was more of an administrator, rather than actually someone who treated patients, he gave us an incredible amount of attention and invited us to visit the hospital in Pristina.

Walking up to the hospital, I eyed a man with a fruit standing selling delicious looking bananas. I then noticed that the pavement was lined with vendors on both sides of the street. Lynn and our translator Luta, explained that if you were to go into the hospital you must bring everything with you. This included hospital gowns, house shoes, food, water, toilet paper, bed sheets—anything you needed must be either bought or brought from home.

I was also a little bit disturbed as we approached the hospital entrance. Pink wastebaskets lined the walkway. They weren’t filled with just random trash, but with hazardous materials like gloves and used needles. It was very strange.

We met Doctor S. on the first floor of the Gynecology Clinic. He wanted to show us the pediatric wing and the newborn babies. We were of course allowed in, past security, because we were American.

The hospital was plainly colored, mostly from the brown and cream family. Black and cream tiles lay uniformly in patterns on the floor, wall to wall, and nurses were scattered about here and there, dressed in their conservative white uniforms. They had a sort of quiet presence. Red and white signs hung from the ceiling with arrows pointing you in the right direction. The elevators, however, were a bit scary. Giant doors guarded the outside of them, but they weren’t like regular elevator doors. They were heavy wooden doors that you might find walking into an old public library or school building. The inside of the elevators weren’t very big and I wondered if a patient’s hospital bed could fit inside.

We were taken to the baby ward, and allowed in to see newborn infants. I had never, in person seen anything like this. There, in the ward, was a mother who had just given birth to her new baby girl. She looked very tired, but was up taking care of her, feeding her and wrapping her blanket tight. No fancy machinery, just a few beds and a crib. She smiled weakly as we dumbly stared, wide-eyed at the scene. She was so proud of her daughter. She was so beautiful.

A nurse who wore a green uniform now accompanied us, in addition to Doctor S. She worked with the babies, full time. They led us into one of the Nurse’s Station and made room for us to sit, offering us coke and chocolate.

They knew we were coming to visit and had made a special trip to the store for our snacks. This is the Albanian way. Anytime you are invited somewhere, hospitality is extended to the nines. They truly wanted us to enjoy our visit and this was their way of showing love.

Graciously accepting the chocolate, we each took a piece. This is customary. We had learned that you must always try even if you do not want, so you won’t offend anyone. That day, in the Prishtina Hospital, we learned another very important lesson about the culture. If you say you like something, you will receive an excess of it.

The chocolate was, in essence, weird. It looked beautiful in shiny gold wrappers, but I’m not quite sure if it was just old or bad. In an effort of politeness, Michael thanked Doctor S. and told him that he liked the chocolate. The Nurse promptly handed the box to Michael again insisting that he take more. About four of five pieces of chocolate were shoved into his hands and he looked to me in desperation as to what to do with this disgusting treat.

Like a good sport, he ate the rest of the chocolate. Better him than me, I thought. Right?

As it turned out, one of our friends from the University, who had been attending our classes, had a sister who worked in the Eye Clinic. We decided to return later that night to visit Aferdita.

Now this is what I love most about Kosovo. You just never know what you are going to end up doing. Before we left the states, we learned that the Kosovar way was very different. Unlike America, it was is no way fast paced and often people ran late to appointments because they were spending time with someone previously. They are a very relational people by nature, which is a quality in life I didn’t know I had been missing out on.

Go with the flow for a moment.

We were going to visit Aferdita, and who knew this would be one of my most favorite nights in Kosovo. And it was spent at the eye clinic. At 10 o’clock at night.

Of course we were allowed in past Security. They were excited we were visiting again, and showed us up to the eye clinic floor. There, we meet our friend from class, Kimete, her brother Shukri, and their younger sister Bahti. Together we found Aferdita in the Nurse’s Lounge. We stood around for awhile making small talk. I was interested in meeting Aferdita because my own father was an eye doctor and through a translator we bonded over eye charts.

She showed me around the work up rooms, and we turned on different lights to read different charts. We had our picture taken with the machines the doctors used and the late-night silliness began to set it. Michael and Shukri disappeared for a while while we continued our tour of patient rooms and hospital desks, having fun and laughing together like we’d known each other for ages.

We returned to the Nurse’s Lounge to find that Michael and Shukri had returned with gifts of Coke, Fanta and sunflower seeds. Then and there we decided to throw a party. Laughing, eating and picture taking, we danced through the night until the wee hours of the morning, making up songs and playing with the plastic flowers that posed as the centerpiece of the coffee table.

And there we were. At the eye clinic. Having the time of our lives with people who didn’t speak the same language. Could it be that there are some things universally understood? Can true friendship and love exist with no bounds or barriers?

About 2am we decided to head back to the flat, tiptoeing through the halls of the Hospital, as not to disturb the patients and other staff who were sleeping. When we got to the elevator door, Aferdita hugged me and whispered into my ear in very broken English, “I am glad you came. It is good you are here.”

There were so many more words that weren’t audibly spoken in the hug she gave me. I smiled back and blinked back a tear that came from her touching words. I had just made a new, Albanian friend.

When I got up to my room that night and emptied my bag, I found five unwrapped gold chocolates that Michael had snuck into my bag earlier that day when we were visiting the Hospital.

I laughed.

a little something something i’ve been working on for a long time. like a LONG time.

One.

It was quite possibly the perfect cup of tea. Flying somewhere over the UK, I began writing in my journal about the quality of tea served on our airplane. It was a fantastic beverage steeped to perfection, not too hot, certainly not the least bit cold, and rich rusty brown in color. It required no cream or sugar. Just gloriously plain tea hitting your lips with every sip.

I tried not to drink too quickly because I wanted this enjoyable tea-filled experience to last as long as possible. But all good things come to an end sooner or later. Or at least until the flight attendant brings the teapot around for refills.

We landed in London, and seven hours later were waiting to board our third and final airplane. We also awaited our first meal in twenty-two hours, regretting our decision of being too careful with our money to buy sushi at the London airport. Mostly because the British Pound was absolutely slamming the US dollar, but also because it was 7am, to us, and what good American can stomach seaweed and raw fish for breakfast, I ask you?

Ok, we actually did try the yogurt. My traveling companion, Michael, was the one who made the purchase, but he hated it because it was real yogurt. The sour kind. The kind that you might find in a foreign country. Oh wait.

I think the thing that really got to me about this particular yogurt, looking all exotic and foreign in it’s blue and silver plastic container, was the lump factor. I’d say it was about an eight on a scale of one to ten. Is that normal? I never want to know.

He sat there, with a half tired half confused face taking spoonfuls of this irregular looking pudding-esque substance and eating it.

I sat there and hypothesized that you could, in fact, use this yogurt to caulk a leaky window. You know, one of those tall windows in an old Victorian home that just wouldn’t quite shut all the way because it had been so used. Or better yet, the window of a car, or bus, or airplane! I fantasized the newspaper headlines in my minds eye. One might read, “American Saves Plane With Leftover Strawberry Yogurt”. The article would intricately describe the details of how this particular brand had just the right amount of lumpiness to save the entire airplane from a terrible catastrophe. I would be a hero.

Which brings me back to the actual airplane. We were taking off to our final destination when the male flight attendants (stewards?) began to prepare lunch. Dozing in and out of consciousness, I began to imagine the delicious, freshly grilled chicken and heaping piles of creamy potatoes that would soon be on my in-flight tray table, which was currently in it’s upright and locked position. Shuddering at the lingering smell of ‘sour’ in my nose, I decided that this meal was going to be worth the wait. And maybe they’d even have cake. Or those slightly warm, tiny dinner rolls with the gold packages of butter.

I was dreaming of dancing and frolicking in mountains made of dark chocolate when I suddenly came to, very awake. Very wide awake. Very aware of that smell.

I desperately looked to my traveling companions who were also beginning to come to. My heart was racing. Fear and panic set in.

”Holy Lord, what is that smell?” I asked out loud. No, it wasn’t a blaspheme. It was an actual prayer. I was confused. At first, we didn’t know what to think, but after consideration, my companion and I decided it smelled like sweaty feet. Big, nasty, feet that hadn’t seen shoes or a shower in at least twenty years, were taking over our entire Boeing 727. I was afraid to breathe. I could feel my lungs crying out to me for a taste of fresh air.

In a delirious, delusional state of mind, I turned to Michael, who was sitting to my right. I calmly and in all seriousness informed him that as the leader of this team, I had decided there were only two logical explanations for this stench. Either Bigfoot was on our plane and had just removed his moccasins or Eastern Europe smelled like the inside of a pig that had eaten sulfur for dinner. He looked worried and then as some sort of defense mechanism kicked in, we broke into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, masked by tiredness, but underneath lay the feelings of real concern. We still didn’t know what was causing this smell.

And there it was.

Our steward said something to us in Albanian and set a tray of food in front of each of us.

Now, let me interject with this, for a moment. I love my country. I cherish my freedom and am proud to be a US citizen. But there are two things that really annoy me: Americans and tourists. American AND a tourist? That is the formula for both embarrassment and humiliation. A vile combination. And, under absolutely no circumstance, did I want to appear as an American tourist…to the steward, our seatmate or anyone else on the entire plane. (Bigfoot included.) So suppressing my desire to yell out, I started humming to myself. The theme from Jaws.

Our meal was full of hypocrisy. I don’t know how else to say it. We were starving, and our food taunted us from it’s shiny black tray. It was as if the food could sense our physical need for nourishment, and knowingly and on purpose continued to mock us with it’s highly unpleasant odor.

Michael was convinced that the paint was chipping off of the walls and that the plastic overhead bins were beginning to melt from the fumes below. Soon our backpacks and other carry-on items stored above, would be in our laps, probably weeping with disgust and hating us for making them part of our journey.

It was time to face the music…err food. I took a deep breath and began to unwrap the contents of my plate. There was a piece of bread with something inside that I can only describe best as hot cream cheese and chives. It was odd, but didn’t taste half bad. There was a piece of meat in red sauce that has, to this day, not been determined. I was afraid of it and consequently avoided making any and all eye contact.

By the time lunch was over, we had adjusted to the smell. Worry set in, as I began to wonder what I had gotten us into. I had convinced a friend to travel thousands of miles away from home, to a country we had never even heard of, to teach English.

Although we had had some contact with a teacher who had been living there for several years, we had no idea what to expect. All we knew is that we had prepared to teach English classes, and packed American gifts of chocolate and Dr. Pepper to give to the people we hoped would become our new friends.

We had read guidebooks and pondered over language charts…we even attempted to make traditional Turkish coffe, as our guidebook suggested, which is basically like making coffee by stirring the grounds into hot water…sort of like instant hot cocoa mix.

(My coffee tasted like burnt tires. An acquired taste, no doubt.)

All this work, and so far, it had come down to was this: horrible, smelly food. What kind of place were we going to? Would we have to eat bread and water for the coming weeks to survive? What if we didn’t have a bed, but instead slept on a floor of dirt and bugs? What have we done? Wasn’t there a war going on? Would we be in danger?

I leaned back in my and breathed deeply. I knew that for good or bad, this was going to be a memorable experience to a land not many ventured. Before leaving, a friend reminded me that not everyone was called to go to Kosovo. For the moment, I hoped my teammate didn’t hate me, because I knew that no matter what happened, no amount of the sour yogurt could save us now.

We made our final decent into Pristina. This is my account of an experience like none other: Kosovo.